This has always been one of my favourite phrases.
I have always been a fan of how Glaswegians (people from Glasgow, my hometown) would say it…
“Ye better huv a wurd wit yoursel there pal” or something to that effect.
Glasgow has always had a rich sense of fun in the dialect (a polite way to say it). It is very much a straight-talking city and likes to call out the ridiculous and the self-pity.
I think that it is Scottish people, to be honest. We are a profoundly caring population. We are leaning towards what is right in society and there is a lack of tolerance for bullsh*t. On the downside, you are supposed to always pick yourself the f*ck up and get on with it. There is a can-do mentality and most Scots are proud of that. But it has been hampered for so many years by the many factors that we hold ourselves down with.
One day that will change. We will no longer accept that we are forever glorious in our failure. We will be striving to succeed in every endeavour.
I look forward to better days.
But until then, we, you, should always be looking to ‘have a word with yourself.’
What I mean by that is, learn to talk to yourself. Listen to your thoughts and strike up that conversation.
There are two main characters in the movie of your life.
You and the ‘inner you’… I know it sounds a bit Californian w*nky, but it is so true. (I love California by-the-way, but it does have a new age trippy to it and also it has a lot in common with Glasgow – like a f*cking massive homeless problem, ffs, fix that, please)
We all know it, that two-character thing, but we either do not want to admit this or just don’t take the time to listen to it to correctly identify the players. The ‘it’ being the discussions we have with ourselves.
Aye, I am talking about that wee voice inside your head. That person – don’t ignore them, talk to them. It is so refreshing when you do because they have a whole lot to say. They have an honest opinion on so much stuff. They also have a strong view of you.
They also make a massive impact on you with their opinion.
Their judgment of you is complex and made up of so many subtle observations and from others’ notations. This opinion needs guidance, and this is where you come in.
You need to feed and water that f*cker through some decent conversations. Otherwise, you will grow a withered old f*ck of a voice that will forever be that Waldorf or Statler from the muppet show. Shouting negativity from the balcony in your head.
Talk to them, ask them real questions.
When you think you are a horses ass and ask the inner you, you might get a whole new perspective. You might explain why you are a horses ass or provide a solution for you not to be exactly that.
Talk it out between yourself, align on the facts within the conversation, and then agree on some way forward. Use different tools to facilitate the discussion. The more you do this, the more you will find that strong bond and super alignment with each other — a mutual understanding.
One word of caution, though, make sure you don’t always align on the fact that you are a horses ass, because if that is the case.
Then you are obviously a f*cking horses ass.